Here and now
Lights dimmed, the emcee announces the arrival of the newly weds. The guests arise, waiting in anticipation as the music begins. Smoke fills the air as the entrance door opens, the bride and groom walks through the door, striding in with all smiles, ... can't wait till the night is over. Ahhh, if only I can include some sound effects here.
Being a guest at so many weddings, one will never know what goes on behind the scene of a wedding. The bride gets mad at the groom because he forgot to bring her accessories to the dinner venue as promised, a relative bugs the groom to swap places at a table, a few guests who never bothered to rsvp decides to crash the reception, one of the wedding vendors goes missing and cannot be reached on the phone, the bridesmaid's posies and corsages are misplaced and cannot be found, it's a garden wedding and it is starting to rain, the bride's gown is smudged because someone accidentally stepped on it and the bride gets teary-eyed! Sounds familiar? It is almost certain that something will always not go according to plan.
I'm sure most couples would agree that planning a wedding is not an easy feat. It's a test of personality and character. If you ask me for an analogy, I'd say planning a wedding is like pregnancy. Assuming that the planning starts nine months before the wedding date, which in reality is about the right time to start, the couple will experience "morning sickness" or let's call it "wedding sickness" in the first three months. Morning sickness includes feeling nausea, vomiting, prone to getting gastric, heighten sensitivity to odours, etc. Similarly, wedding sickness would include time consuming discussion on the increase of the wedding budget, questions and answers on who pays for what, trips to source for the perfect venue with the package that fits the bill, endless email enquiries to look for suitable vendors, managing expectations from family, relatives and friends, decisions, decisions and more decisions! Deposits need to be made and the couple starts to notice their lifelong savings decreasing.
After the first three months of a pregnancy, the body starts to get used to the change, the growth of the baby starts to stabilize, and it'll just be a few trips to the doctor for monitoring sake. At this stage of the wedding preparation, most vendors would have been short-listed and booked. The couple starts to get a sense of direction, finding balance between a dream wedding and a reality wedding. This is actually the most enjoyable stage where the couple gets to explore and express their creativity by developing a wedding theme, style and concept that best represents them. The bride gets to visit galleries to pick out the gown of her dreams, and the groom gets a feel of looking the best like he has never looked before. The couple talks about possible photography destination, and the opportunity to act and look like movie stars in a foreign land.
Before childbirth, a pregnant woman goes into labour. This is when she experiences contraction where the muscle periodically tightens and relaxes, signalling that the baby is ready to be ushered into the world. One week before the wedding, the couple goes into wedding labour and experiences wedding contractions. All the details that one would never be able to anticipate, starts to surface. Last minute, an overseas relative decides to attend the wedding and expects an all-paid-for trip, the march-in song has not been selected, wedding accessories have not been collected, a vendor suddenly informs that they made a mistake and have run out of stock on items with the specific colours, some guests have not responded to the invitation, the table seating is still in a mess, and the list goes on. Sad to say, it doesn't end here. Some things will start to take a turn in its own course on the wedding day when guests turn up. Finally the couple burst in frustration and decides to just get over with the wedding, can't help waiting when momentum in life would get back to its normal rhythm.
Nobody wants a wedding like this, but it is real. When people come into the picture, some things will change. The big question is, how do you respond to it? You can choose to hold on to the imperfection, or you can choose to let things be. You can choose to be worried about everything or you can tell yourself that you've done your best, allowing things to run naturally and that you just want to enjoy your big day. It's a choice, and my advice is, live in the here and now, live in the moment. Don't be worried about what is and what isn't because the day will pass by so quickly and before you know it, it's over. So what if some flowers are missing, no one will hold it against you and say that it's one of the worst wedding of the century. What counts is that you, the bride and groom realizes that all of your guests took time off from their busy schedule, came from far and wide, to witness and join in the celebration with the newlyweds.
So to all to-be-wed couples, every minute on the wedding day counts, live in the here and now, live in the moment!
Being a guest at so many weddings, one will never know what goes on behind the scene of a wedding. The bride gets mad at the groom because he forgot to bring her accessories to the dinner venue as promised, a relative bugs the groom to swap places at a table, a few guests who never bothered to rsvp decides to crash the reception, one of the wedding vendors goes missing and cannot be reached on the phone, the bridesmaid's posies and corsages are misplaced and cannot be found, it's a garden wedding and it is starting to rain, the bride's gown is smudged because someone accidentally stepped on it and the bride gets teary-eyed! Sounds familiar? It is almost certain that something will always not go according to plan.
I'm sure most couples would agree that planning a wedding is not an easy feat. It's a test of personality and character. If you ask me for an analogy, I'd say planning a wedding is like pregnancy. Assuming that the planning starts nine months before the wedding date, which in reality is about the right time to start, the couple will experience "morning sickness" or let's call it "wedding sickness" in the first three months. Morning sickness includes feeling nausea, vomiting, prone to getting gastric, heighten sensitivity to odours, etc. Similarly, wedding sickness would include time consuming discussion on the increase of the wedding budget, questions and answers on who pays for what, trips to source for the perfect venue with the package that fits the bill, endless email enquiries to look for suitable vendors, managing expectations from family, relatives and friends, decisions, decisions and more decisions! Deposits need to be made and the couple starts to notice their lifelong savings decreasing.
After the first three months of a pregnancy, the body starts to get used to the change, the growth of the baby starts to stabilize, and it'll just be a few trips to the doctor for monitoring sake. At this stage of the wedding preparation, most vendors would have been short-listed and booked. The couple starts to get a sense of direction, finding balance between a dream wedding and a reality wedding. This is actually the most enjoyable stage where the couple gets to explore and express their creativity by developing a wedding theme, style and concept that best represents them. The bride gets to visit galleries to pick out the gown of her dreams, and the groom gets a feel of looking the best like he has never looked before. The couple talks about possible photography destination, and the opportunity to act and look like movie stars in a foreign land.
Before childbirth, a pregnant woman goes into labour. This is when she experiences contraction where the muscle periodically tightens and relaxes, signalling that the baby is ready to be ushered into the world. One week before the wedding, the couple goes into wedding labour and experiences wedding contractions. All the details that one would never be able to anticipate, starts to surface. Last minute, an overseas relative decides to attend the wedding and expects an all-paid-for trip, the march-in song has not been selected, wedding accessories have not been collected, a vendor suddenly informs that they made a mistake and have run out of stock on items with the specific colours, some guests have not responded to the invitation, the table seating is still in a mess, and the list goes on. Sad to say, it doesn't end here. Some things will start to take a turn in its own course on the wedding day when guests turn up. Finally the couple burst in frustration and decides to just get over with the wedding, can't help waiting when momentum in life would get back to its normal rhythm.
Nobody wants a wedding like this, but it is real. When people come into the picture, some things will change. The big question is, how do you respond to it? You can choose to hold on to the imperfection, or you can choose to let things be. You can choose to be worried about everything or you can tell yourself that you've done your best, allowing things to run naturally and that you just want to enjoy your big day. It's a choice, and my advice is, live in the here and now, live in the moment. Don't be worried about what is and what isn't because the day will pass by so quickly and before you know it, it's over. So what if some flowers are missing, no one will hold it against you and say that it's one of the worst wedding of the century. What counts is that you, the bride and groom realizes that all of your guests took time off from their busy schedule, came from far and wide, to witness and join in the celebration with the newlyweds.
So to all to-be-wed couples, every minute on the wedding day counts, live in the here and now, live in the moment!
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